BY ACCESSING THIS SITE YOU AGREE TO THE FOLLOWING
Simply Effin' Astounding
Terms Of Service
Last updated: June, 2022
By using these services you agree that you are 18 years of age and the age in your territory, state or country of residence to enter into a legally binding agreement.
Some of the content found on Simply Effin' Astounding and it's Partners and Affiliates is not appropriate for younger audiences.
It is not our job to babysit your kids. If you are a parent and your kid is here and is a little asshole, you cannot blame it on us. We are adults, and as adults expect a certain level of maturity and common sense. Don't be assholes, be responsible for what your kids and the minors with access to your shit see and hear, as well as how they act.
And now more legal shit!
These Terms of Service ("Terms", "Terms of Service") govern your relationship with http://simplyeffinastounding.ca website (the "Service") operated by Simply Effin' Astounding ("Effin' A" "us", "we", or "our").
Please read these Terms of Service carefully before using the Service.
Your access to and use of the Service is based on your acceptance of and compliance with these Terms. These Terms apply to all visitors, users and others who access or use the Service.
By accessing or using the Service you agree to be bound by these Terms and accept all legal consequences. If you do not agree to these terms and conditions, in whole or in part, please do not use the Service.
If you wish to purchase any product or service made available through the Service ("Purchase"), you may be asked to supply certain information relevant to your Purchase including, without limitation, your credit card number, the expiration date of your credit card, your billing address, and your shipping information.
You represent and warrant that: (i) you have the legal right to use any credit card(s) or other payment method(s) in connection with any Purchase; and that (ii) the information you supply to us is true, correct and complete.
By submitting such information, you grant us the right to provide the information to third parties for purposes of facilitating the completion of Purchases.
We reserve the right to refuse or cancel your order at any time for certain reasons including but not limited to: product or service availability, errors in the description or price of the product or service, error in your order or other reasons.
We reserve the right to refuse or cancel your order if fraud or an unauthorised or illegal transaction is suspected. We will not be held responsible or liable for any failure for the Purchase to complete, or any resulting loss or damages to you.
Availability, Errors and Inaccuracies
In order to provide exceptional service, and accuracy, we regularly update the products and services on the Service.
We cannot and do not guarantee the accuracy or completeness of any information, including prices, product images, specifications, availability, and services. We reserve the right to change or update information and to correct errors, inaccuracies, or omissions at any time without prior notice.
Despite our best efforts, the products or services available on our Service may have an error regarding the price, be inaccurately described, or be unavailable.
We may experience delays in updating information on the Service and in our advertising on other websites.
Contests, Sweepstakes and Promotions
Promotions may be available for a limited time.
Our Service allows you to post, link, store, share and otherwise make available certain information, text, graphics, videos, or other material ("Content"). You are responsible for the Content that you post to the Service, including its legality, reliability, and appropriateness.
By posting Content to the Service, you grant us the right and license to use, modify, publicly perform, publicly display, reproduce, and distribute such Content on and through the Service. You retain any and all of your rights to any Content you submit, post or display on or through the Service and you are responsible for protecting those rights. You agree that this license includes the right for us to make your Content available to other users of the Service, who may also use your Content subject to these Terms.
You represent and warrant that: (i) the Content is yours (you own it) or you have the right to use it and grant us the rights and license as provided in these Terms, and (ii) the posting of your Content on or through the Service does not violate the privacy rights, publicity rights, copyrights, contract rights or any other rights of any person.
We reserve all rights to block or remove communications or materials that we determine to be: (a) abusive, defamatory, or obscene; (b) fraudulent, deceptive, or misleading; (c) in violation of a copyright, trademark or, other intellectual property right of another or; (d) offensive or otherwise unacceptable to us in our sole discretion.
You acknowledge that, by providing you with the ability to view and distribute user-generated content on the Service, we are merely acting as a passive conduit for such distribution and is not undertaking any obligation or liability relating to any contents or activities on the Service.
When you create an account with us, you must provide us information that is accurate, complete, and current at all times. Failure to do so constitutes a breach of the Terms, which may result in immediate termination of your account on our Service.
You are responsible for safeguarding the password that you use to access the Service and for any activities or actions under your password, whether your password is with our Service or a third-party service.
You agree not to disclose your password to any third party. You must notify us immediately upon becoming aware of any breach of security or unauthorized use of your account.
You may not use as a username the name of another person or entity or that is not lawfully available for use, a name or trade mark that is subject to any rights of another person or entity other than you without appropriate authorization, or a name that is otherwise offensive, vulgar or obscene.
The Service and all contents, including but not limited to text, images, graphics or code are the property of Simply Effin' Astounding and are protected by copyright, trademarks, database and other intellectual property rights. You may display and copy, download or print portions of the material from the different areas of the Service only for your own non-commercial use, or to place an order with Simply Effin' Astounding. Any other use is strictly prohibited and may violate copyright, trademark and other laws. These Terms do not grant you a license to use any trademark of Simply Effin' Astounding or its affiliates. You further agree not to use, change or delete any proprietary notices from materials downloaded from the Service.
Links To Other Web Sites
The Service may contain links to third-party web sites or services that are not owned or controlled by Simply Effin' Astounding.
Simply Effin' Astounding has no control over, and assumes no responsibility for, the content, privacy policies, or practices of any third party web sites or services. You further acknowledge and agree that Simply Effin' Astounding shall not be responsible or liable, directly or indirectly, for any damage or loss caused or alleged to be caused by or in connection with use of or reliance on any such content, goods or services available on or through any such websites or services.
We strongly advise you to read the terms and conditions and privacy policies of any third-party web sites or services that you visit.
We may terminate or suspend access to our Service immediately, without prior notice or liability, for any reason whatsoever, including, without limitation, if you breach the Terms.
All provisions of the Terms shall survive termination, including, without limitation, ownership provisions, warranty disclaimers, indemnity and limitations of liability.
Upon termination, your right to use the Service will immediately cease. If you wish to terminate your account, you may simply discontinue using the Service.
You agree to indemnify, defend and hold harmless Simply Effin' Astounding, its principals, officers, directors, representatives, employees, contractors, licensors, licensees, suppliers and agents, from and against any claims, losses, damages, losses, obligations, costs, actions or demands.
These include but are not limited to: (a) legal and accounting fees resulting from your use of the Service; (b) your breach of any of these Terms; (c) anything you post on or upload to the Service; and (d) any activity related to your account. This includes any negligent or illegal conduct by you, any person or entity accessing the Service using your account whether such access is obtained via fraudulent or illegal means.
Limitation Of Liability
Simply Effin' Astounding, its directors, employees, partners, agents, suppliers, or affiliates, shall not be liable for any loss or damage, direct or indirect, incidental, special, consequential or punitive damages, including without limitation, economic loss, loss or damage to electronic media or data, goodwill, or other intangible losses, resulting from (i) your access to or use of the Service; (ii) your inability to access or use the Service; (iii) any conduct or content of any third-party on or related to the Service; (iiv) any content obtained from or through the Service; and (v) the unauthorized access to, use of or alteration of your transmissions or content, whether based on warranty, contract, tort (including negligence) or any other claim in law, whether or not we have been informed of the possibility of such damage, and even if a remedy set forth herein is found to have failed of its essential purpose.
Disclaimer And Non-Waiver of Rights
Simply Effin' Astounding makes no guarantees, representations or warranties of any kind as regards the website and associated technology. Any purportedly applicable warranties, terms and conditions are excluded, to the fullest extent permitted by law. Your use of the Service is at your sole risk. The Service is provided on an "AS IS" and "AS AVAILABLE" basis. The Service is provided without warranties of any kind, whether express or implied, including, but not limited to, implied warranties of merchantability, fitness for a particular purpose, non-infringement or course of performance, except as provided for under the laws of any province and territory in Canada. In such cases, the provincial or territorial law shall apply to the extent necessary.
Simply Effin' Astounding its subsidiaries, affiliates, and its licensors do not warrant that a) the Service will function uninterrupted, secure or available at any particular time or location; b) any errors or defects will be corrected; c) the Service is free of viruses or other harmful components; or d) the results of using the Service will meet your requirements.
If you breach any of these Terms and Simply Effin' Astounding chooses not to immediately act, or chooses not to act at all, Simply Effin' Astounding will still be entitled to all rights and remedies at any later date, or in any other situation, where you breach these Terms. Simply Effin' Astounding does not waive any of its rights. Simply Effin' Astounding shall not be responsible for any purported breach of these Terms caused by circumstances beyond its control. A person who is not a party to these Terms shall have no rights of enforcement.
You may not assign, sub-license or otherwise transfer any of your rights under these Terms.
As set out, above, some jurisdictions do not allow the exclusion of certain warranties or the exclusion or limitation of liability for consequential or incidental damages, so the limitations above may not apply to you. Provincial and, or territorial laws of Canada may apply to certain products and service provided.
These Terms shall be governed by, and interpreted and enforced in accordance with, the laws in the Territories and Provinces of Canada, as applicable.
If any provision of these Terms is held to be invalid or unenforceable by a court of competent jurisdiction, then any remaining provisions of these Terms will remain in effect. These Terms constitute the entire agreement between us regarding our Service, and supersede and replace any prior agreements, oral or otherwise, regarding the Service.
We reserve the right, at our sole discretion, to modify or replace these Terms at any time. If a revision is material we will make reasonable efforts to provide at least 30 days' notice prior to any new terms taking effect. What constitutes a material change will be determined at our sole discretion.
By continuing to access or use our Service after those revisions become effective, you agree to be bound by the revised terms. If you do not agree to the new terms, in whole or in part, please stop using the website and the Service.
If you have any questions about these Terms, please contact us.
Last updated: June 2022
Simply Effin' Astounding ("Effin' A", "us", "we", or "our") operates the http://simplyeffinastounding.com website (the "Service").
Personal Information Collect, Use, Disclosure and Consent
Personal Information may include your name, age, home address, phone number, marital status, income, credit history, medical information, education, employment information and social registration numbers.
We are committed to providing our clients, customers, members ("you", "your" or "them") with exceptional service. Providing exceptional service may involve the collection, use and, at times, the disclosure of your Personal Information. Protecting your Personal Information is one of our highest priorities. While we have always respected your privacy and safeguarded all Personal Information, we have strengthened our commitment to this goal. This is to continue to provide exceptional service to you and to comply with all laws regarding the collection, use and disclosure of Personal Information. We will inform you of why and how we collect, use and disclose Personal Information; obtain your consent, as required; and handle Personal Information according to applicable law. Our privacy commitment includes ensuring the accuracy, confidentiality, and security of your Personal Information and allowing you to request access to, and correction of, your personal information.
This page informs you of our policies regarding the collection, use and disclosure of Personal Information when you use our Service.
We will only collect Personal Information that is necessary to fulfill the following purposes:
To verify identity;
To identify your preferences;
To open and manage an account;
To ensure you receive a high standard of service;
To meet regulatory requirements;
Other legal reasons as apply to the goods and services requested.
We will obtain your consent to collect, use or disclose Personal Information. In some cases, we can do so without your consent (see below). You can provide consent orally, in writing, electronically or through an authorized representative.
You provide implied consent where our purpose for collecting using or disclosing your Personal Information would be considered obvious or reasonable in the circumstances. Consent may also be implied where you have notice and a reasonable opportunity to opt-out of having your Personal Information used for mail-outs, marketing or fundraising and you do not opt-out.
We may collect, use or disclose Personal Information without the consent:
When permitted or required by law;
In an emergency that threatens an individual's life, health, or personal security;
When the Personal Information is available from a public source;
When we require legal advice from a lawyer;
For the purposes of collecting a debt or protection from fraud;
Other legally established reasons.
We will not sell your Personal Information to other parties unless consent has been provided or implied. We retain your Personal Information for the time necessary to fulfill the identified purposes or a legal or business purpose. We will make reasonable efforts to ensure that your Personal Information is accurate and complete. You may request correction to your Personal Information to ensure its accuracy and completeness. A request must be in writing and provide sufficient detail to identify your Personal Information and the correction being sought.
We are committed to ensuring the security of your Personal Information and may use passwords, encryption, firewalls, restricted employee access or other methods, in our discretion. We will use appropriate security measures when destroying your Personal Information such as shredding documents or deleting electronically stored information, in our discretion.
We may collect information that your web browser sends whenever you visit our Service ("Log Data"). This Log Data may include information such as your computer's Internet Protocol ("IP") address, browser type, browser version, the pages of our Service that you visit, the time and date of your visit, the time spent on those pages and other statistics.
In addition, we may use third party services such as Google Analytics that collect, monitor and analyze this type of information in order to increase our Service's functionality. These third party service providers have their own privacy policies addressing how they use such information.
Cookies are files with small amount of data, which may include an anonymous unique identifier. Cookies are sent to your browser from a web site and stored on your computer's hard drive.
We use "cookies" to collect information. You can instruct your browser to refuse all cookies or to indicate when a cookie is being sent. However, if you do not accept cookies, you may not be able to use some portions of our Service. If you do not instruct your browser to refuse all cookies or to indicate when a cookie is being sent, your consent to our use of your Personal Information may be implied.
We may employ third party companies and individuals to facilitate our Service, to provide the Service on our behalf, to perform Service-related services or to assist us in analyzing how our Service is used.
These third parties have access to your Personal Information only to perform these tasks on our behalf and are obligated not to disclose or use it for any other purpose.
We may use your Personal Information to contact you with newsletters, marketing or promotional materials and other information that may be of interest to you. You may opt out of receiving any, or all, of these communications from us by following the unsubscribe link or instructions provided in any email we send or by contacting us.
Compliance With Laws
As set out above, and for clarity, we will disclose your Personal Information where required to do so by law or subpoena or if we believe that such action is necessary to comply with the law and the reasonable requests of law enforcement or to protect the security or integrity of our Service.
The security of your Personal Information is important to us, but remember that no method of transmission over the Internet, or method of electronic storage is 100% secure. While we strive to use commercially acceptable means to protect your Personal Information, we cannot guarantee its absolute security.
Your information, including Personal Information, may be transferred to — and maintained on — computers located outside of your province, country or other governmental jurisdiction where the data protection laws may differ than those from your jurisdiction.
If you are located outside Canada and choose to provide information to us, please note that we transfer the information, including Personal Information, to Canada and process it there.
Links To Other Sites
We have no control over, and assume no responsibility for the content, privacy policies or practices of any third party sites or services.
Our Service does not address anyone under the age of 18 ("Minor").
We do not knowingly collect personally identifiable information from Minors. If you are a parent or guardian and you are aware that your Minor has provided us with Personal Information, please contact us. If we discover that a Minor has provided us with Personal Information, we will take steps to delete such information from our servers.